Welcome to my world. It can be bizarre at times but it is never boring and just when I thought someone has achieved an all time new low, the bar at times keeps getting lower. However, before you enter you must understand the philosophy that I adhere to while in this world. Trust no one and suspect everyone. I really don't want you to live life like that, but I do want you to be successful in your endeavors with regard to successfully identifying, locating and recovering the information that you are seeking. So while involved in these activities you must adhere to that philosophy. It's for your own good.

I have worked with many of my clients before they actually confronted their spouse or filed for divorce. These clients were often working with their attorney and I long before their spouse even knew they were contemplating divorce. The reason was simple; they did not have enough information to proceed to the next step and wanted to be sure before they did. It is often in this phase that your efforts can be discovered by your spouse if you are not discreet. I have seen it happen too many times.

In one case an attorney gave a woman my name and number for the purposes of consulting with me regarding her home computer. She kept it in her purse and it was discovered by her husband. When her husband saw my contact information and realized what services I provided and he quickly took the computer out of the house. The cat was out of the bag and the potential evidence was out of her grasp.

Now when I say be discrete, I mean in all aspects of your activities regarding your divorce proceedings, especially your preliminary activities. When spouses are unfaithful they often become paranoid and they are sometimes obsessed with what you might know. So they try keeping tabs on you to find out exactly what you know or if you have an inkling of suspicion. If they get any indication that you are suspicious it is going to make your job harder and potentially lead to the destruction of evidence that you were counting on recovering.

I also want you to protect yourself, especially when it comes to keeping your activities private. I suggest that you follow a simple set of guidelines that I recommend to all my clients. However, I want you to check with your attorney first, especially where I tell you to delete voicemail messages, e-mail messages and accounts that you no longer need. It will ensure that you will have no problems in court if you end up filing for divorce. The different state court rules vary and change from time to time, so I just want to make sure you are following the law.

The first response I always get from my clients is that it is not necessary. They often say "my spouse has very little technical ability" or "my spouse has no idea". Please don't take that position and follow all of my recommendations unless you are advised by your attorney not to. Remember what I said in the beginning, while I don't want you to live like you are paranoid, you must while in my world. I live it everyday and I see the mistakes that are made and the results that could have been avoided.

If you are buying this book or paying for any service for the purposes of looking into your spouse's activities, then don't use a check or credit card. If you need to use a check or credit card for a purchase then ask a friend to purchase it for you and reimburse them. Credit cards and checks leave a paper trail for your spouse to find. Remember, even if your spouse is no longer in the house, if their name still appears on the bank account or credit card, they just have to call the credit card company and request a copy of the monthly statements, and many of them do that. So it may not be them who is clueless, it may be you. Don't let it happen to you.

Don't give out your home phone number to your attorney or experts. If you do you increase your chances of having someone (assistant or secretary) mistakenly call the house and leave a message for your spouse to find. Have everyone call you on your cell phone. Incoming phone numbers are most likely not recorded on your monthly bills but verify this because carriers are different and services and features change often. Then after you get off the phone, go into the call received log and delete the incoming call. Don't delete any other number unless it is a communication you don't want your spouse to know about. If you delete all the numbers in your received or dialed logs, this might raise the suspicion of your spouse.

Don't make calls to your attorney or an expert that you plan on using during your divorce proceedings from home or your cell phone. These calls leave a paper trail in the form of monthly bills that can be detected. Remember, even if you spouse is no longer in the house, if their name still appears on the phone bill then they just have to call the phone company and request a copy of the bill. When you need to contact your attorney or expert then do it from work or a friends house. It's not like you are going to be talking to them everyday so it should not be an inconvenience. Having your spouse find out about the contacts would be. So be cautious and don't take chances.

If you are doing some background research, do not use any computer that you may want to perform computer forensics on in the future. This is for two reasons; first because you are bringing new information onto the computer and causing it to overwrite the deleted and unallocated areas of the hard drive. This will destroy the data you are attempting to recover. Second, it may be discovered by your spouse.

If you purchased a utility that you think may help you review your home computer to help you find data, don't install it on your hard drive. This will overwrite the deleted and unallocated space of the hard drive making the recovery of potentially crucial data impossible. Don't make the mistakes that so many have made. Wait and learn how to do things safely and do not rush it, give yourself the time.

If you are using a wireless network at home then get someone in to reconfigure it. Even if you spouse is out of the house, if they know the wireless configuration they can get to your files from outside your house, check your hard drive and do so much more that you may not be aware of because of your lack of knowledge in technology. Lock it down or don't use it. If you plan on not using it then unplug the wireless router. This is the only way to keep you safe and secure.

Change your voicemail password at work and make sure that it is a complex password (characters and numbers mixed) to ensure your privacy. Do the same with your home answering machine and cell phone voicemail system. I had one client who had absolutely no technical ability and yet she hacked her husband's cell phone voicemail system and recorded all the messages that he was receiving on a weekly basis. She had taped messages that were left by numerous women exposing numerous affairs that he was involved in. It is easier than you might think and it could leave you vulnerable.

Change your password for all e-mail accounts and delete messages you no longer need. Then terminate accounts that you no longer need. It does not make sense to keep dated information that is no longer relevant. You will be amazed how the most innocent of communications can be turned around on you. Get rid of them but check with your attorney first.

Don't store potential evidence at home. This could be cell phone or home phone bills that you have been keeping or it could be anything you are collecting. Store it at a friend's house or another convenient place that you can access it if and when you need to.

I hope the information contained in this articles helps and gives you the time and privacy you need to accomplish your goals. I don't like to see marriages in turmoil, but I also don't like to see a good spouse deceived to the point where it can hurt them. So I will leave you here and I wish you well in your endeavors.

I am currently working on my next article for cyberlies.com, which explains why spyware may not be right for you. I recommend very strongly that if you are planning on using some type of spyware to track your spouse's activities that you wait until you read that article before proceeding.

DIVORCE ARTICLES
Be Discreet >>
Spyware Bware >>
Dealing With Guilt>>
Accessing Cell Phones>>